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it can feel like a flush 

i am exhausted

i have been thinking and crying and painting and longing and hoping and running and dreaming and not sleeping very much

i am tired

i am going to 

rest.

i cried so much

i feel all watery and like i am swimming now

its time to run a tangible basin and clamber amongst the warm Edinburgh ocean bathroom waves

and then pyjamas and warm socks and getiting hot flattened by the heavy winter duvet, flattened

to a piece of skin

drifting between 

odd adventures along footbridges to insightful places

please let that one mind work with peace for all the darkness hours

and then i will come into the other mind and they can feel at peace together

free to roam through the sunlight hours with stable energy

subconscious and conscious harmony 

a whole solid strong 

with wings and legs

I

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